You Got Fat – Now What?
I got fat, okay? I know that now, not because I’ve seen myself in photos. Today for the first time, I saw stretch marks on my stomach. Stretch marks. Panic isn’t even the word you can even begin to use. A feeling of dread immediately washed over me and I felt like my life was over. When I flashback to several years ago, I was in beautiful shape. I was spry and limber and I could easily slide into a size 8.
Now, I’m a size 16+ and getting bigger every single day. What can I attribute this weight gain to other than food? Nothing. Food is my best friend and my worst enemy. It holds me when I’m sad and it cheers me up when I’m happy. I use it to celebrate and I use it to drown my sorrows. Bad day at work? Eat. Good day at work? Eat. Did someone comment on the blog? Eat. No one commented? Eat. See where I’m going?
I know, I know, you guys must know that I’m on a fitness journey now to get my groove back. it started about a week or so ago and I have to say that I’m getting on to a good start. I’ve been to the gym consistently and I started researching different classes to take (i.e. yoga, cycling, weight lifting). Like I stated before (in a previous post), my mom has been trying forever to get me into a yoga class. FOREVER. I think now, I may finally take her up on it.
I’ve been to yoga classes before, but my experience was not all zen-fully pleasant. I remember the classes being too fast paced, and that I couldn’t keep up. The positions weren’t good for my chunky body, and I felt insecure about other people being so close to me. I mean these people were so close I could see the sweat trickling down their foreheads and feel their breath gently on my neck. *shudders*
If your experience with weight gain has been anything like mine, then you know the feeling of insecurity all too well. When I was still in college and at the beginning of my weight gain journey, I would avoid walking certain places I knew were heavily populated. I always felt like people were looking at me and that they somehow knew. That they knew how I felt. That they knew that I was getting fat and wasn’t sure what to do with it. I never want to feel the way that I felt during that period of my life. So broken.
Ironically I received my degree in Exercise Science and had aspirations to change the world. I still do. I want to be that voice and help to all the women out there that are struggling with weight loss and don’t know where to turn. I’m here for you girl. You came to the right place. We CAN and we WILL do this together.
So you’ve gained a little weight or ALOT of weight. Either way, that’s going to change today. We are going to make a vow. We are going to make a promise to ourselves that we are going to do better. Be better. No longer will we let food control our every thought and emotion. No longer will we feel insecure walking into that clothing store thinking we won’t find anything ‘cute’ to wear. No longer will we keep ourselves off the dating market in fear that men or women won’t find us attractive. You are attractive. You are beautiful and you are worth it. That’s why we’re making this vow girl. Let’s not let the scale take our value away from ourselves. The number on the scale is not directly related to your beauty.
Now I want you to repeat after me. Seriously, say this aloud not just reading it in your head.
‘I’m worth it’
‘I’m special and I deserve love’
‘It’s going to get better.’
‘I will change my mind, body, and spirit for the better and live my best life.’
‘I love me’
How do you feel? Positive affirmations are a must when you’re going through a positive change. No, we’re not going to start our journey tomorrow, or next week, or even New Years. We are going to start it right now. At this very moment. Congratulations girl for taking the first step with me. We are moving on up!